Unfinished: Peter's Story | Afraid

When our kids were little, just like everybody else, they went from not having strong enough neck muscles to hold up their own heads, to being able to sit up on their own, to crawling, to pulling themselves up onto something, to taking a few steps and learning to walk. Walking is one of those major milestones in a kid's life, isn't it? And the thing that parents ask about, oh, how long has she been walking? Is he walking yet? Of course, as soon as they do start walking, everything in the house becomes a weapon.

Everything's got to move three feet higher. You realize over the last 12 months, they have been scanning the room, looking for all the things that they're going to go get when they have the mobility to get them. All of our kids had a slightly different path to walking. Garrett, he had this little one leg, one arm crawl that we affectionately called the wounded soldier crawl. He looked like he'd been shot and he was trying to get back home.

Ada was even less traditional. She didn't crawl. She rolled everywhere. Like, if she saw something across the room, she'd just lay sideways and just roll over. It wasn't very graceful, but it worked.

It worked. We honestly wondered if she'd ever walk. And then actually, the day we brought Garrett home, she realized she was about to lose some attention, I guess, and she got up and just started walking. It was great. She went from rolling to walking.

Wyatt had a much more traditional progression. Crawling, pulling himself up, walking with holding onto something, then walking a few steps on his own, and then eventually walking everywhere. But for all of them, learning to walk was filled with a lot of encouragement and a lot of failure. A lot of falling. Come on, you can do it.

Come to daddy. You're so big, right? And then they'd pull themselves up on the couch, and their little wobbly legs would do this thing, and you're like, they're gonna take a step. And then they'd sit.

But we'd cheer them on anyway.

Here's what I don't remember doing. I don't remember ever looking at them and saying, seriously, you can't walk yet. How many times are you gonna fall? How long have we been working on this? Your brother can crawl or walk.

Why can't you walk? Are you ever gonna walk? We never thought, oh, no, they're never going to walk. When they fell. I don't remember pulling out a stopwatch and saying, your time between the couch and refrigerator needs to be cut by four tenths.

You know, as parents, we celebrate every tiny bit of progress when they're Little. The first time they sit up, we take pictures, they crawl, we get a video. When they awkwardly take that wobbly step and fall, the whole family reacts like they got a gold medal. And when they fall down, we don't tell ourselves that they're never going to walk again. We help them up and we clap for them and cheer them on again and again and again and again.

But somewhere along the way, we stop savoring the process and we start measuring their performance. We go from celebrating every little milestone is the greatest accomplishment that mankind has ever seen to looking at a three year old and thinking, we better figure out what their sport is right now. Because if we don't get them on a travel team, they won't get a scholarship and they'll probably never amount to anything.

And I think, I think this is the way that we start to view ourselves in our relationship with God. We start out just grateful that he saved us at all. We're excited about every little thing that we learn. Like every step toward him is a significant milestone. But after a while, we start putting pressure on ourselves.

We look in the mirror and we think, I should be further along by now.

I mean, we're 15 years in and I still did that thing. I shouldn't be falling down like this. We stop seeing ourselves as children who are learning to walk. And we start imagining that God is constantly disappointed in our progress.

I'm going to ask you to just be dead honest for a minute. How many of you who are walking with Jesus right now thought you'd be further along right now than you are? Please be honest. Look around the room. Keep your hands up high.

Most of us imagine God standing at a distance with his arms crossed, saying, really? This is it? This is the best you've got? After everything I've done for you? After all this time, You should be running.

But isn't it interesting that the primary picture God chooses in scripture to describe his relationship with us is the picture of a father and a child. Romans 8 says that we haven't received a spirit that makes us slaves to fear, but the spirit of adoption, by whom we cry, Abba Father. That is an intimate cry. Abba Father. God is our Father.

And while a good father isn't indifferent to whether his children grow, a good father understands that growth happens one unsteady step at a time. And it happens differently for all of us. Some of us came to faith and started walking with Jesus in a very traditional order. We just kind of grew up in the church. And over time we look back and See that we're closer to God than we used to be.

Some of us have that one leg, one arm crawl where we've been so deeply wounded in our lives. And we came to Jesus just gasping for breath. And some of us came from Jesus. And our stories are so crazy and unorthodox that it's impossible that we even showed up at all.

And maybe while we're looking at ourselves, disappointed that we aren't further down the road, maybe God's savoring every step, maybe while we're staring at how far we still have to go, God is looking at us and saying, look how far you've come.

Maybe when all we can see is the falling part, God was joyfully taking pictures of the couple steps we took right before we fell.

Last week, we started this series called Unfinished, and it's a look at the life of Peter, a guy with a highlight reel that could rival almost anyone in Christian history, but also a guy who learns to walk with Jesus one step and one stumble at a time. And through all the stumbling, and there is lots of stumbling, Jesus never writes Peter off. He corrects him when he needs it. He challenges him. He exposes the places that Peter still needs to grow.

But Jesus never views him as unqualified or unable or unworthy. He just views him as unfinished. And I think he wants the same for us. Will you pray with me before we dig in?

Jesus, our savior, thank you.

Help us to see ourselves as you see us.

Teach us today through your word, break chains of bondage and shame that have been here for decades.

Lord, would you lift the lid off of our lives today and help us to see ourselves as you see us and see you as you are. It's in your mighty name we pray. Amen. Well, Peter's story shows us that learning to walk with Jesus isn't something that just happens in a year or two. It's a whole lifetime process.

Last week, we looked at that moment when Jesus first calls Peter. And Peter sees the power of Jesus, the glory and power of Jesus in this miracle with the fish. And that immediately makes him see himself as unworthy. And he falls at Jesus feet and he says, go away from me. I am a sinful man.

Basically, if you knew who I was, Jesus, you wouldn't be standing here. If you knew what was inside of my heart and all the ways that I've failed, you would not be asking me to come. You would find someone else. See, Peter looks at himself and sees all the reasons he shouldn't even be allowed to begin But Jesus doesn't go away. Jesus doesn't condemn Peter as unfit for service.

He doesn't say, you're right. In fact, go clean yourself up. And once you've done that effectively, come back to me and we'll see if you'll cut it. Then Jesus says, don't be afraid.

You see what I just did with the fish? Imagine what I can do with you. Come on, let's go, Peter. Jesus knows Peter can't run. He knows Peter can barely stand by himself.

And he invites him to take the first step. Now, I heard from so many people in our church this last week that said something like, I cannot tell you how much I needed to hear those words last week. And I think it's because a lot of us have spent years believing that our steps and stumbles make God disappointed. We think they disqualify us. We think that they prove that we're hypocrites.

We assume Jesus is looking for people who are stronger and steadier and braver and a lot less complicated than we are. But Peter's story is a story that gives me hope for my own steps and stumbles. Jesus already knows exactly how unfinished Peter is, and he calls him anyway. He knows about the fear and the doubt and the impulsiveness. He knows that over and over, Peter will open his mouth before his brain starts, and he will not get it over and over.

And he knows even his worst moments are yet to come. And he still says, come on, follow me. And even after Peter leaves everything behind to follow Jesus, he doesn't suddenly become fearless and perfect and faithful and spiritually mature and completely secure. Peter turns towards Jesus. And that's just the beginning.

By the time we get to Matthew 14, Peter's been with Jesus for about a year and a half at this point. That seems long enough to me that Peter ought to be awesome. By now, all the evidence in Peter's rearview mirror should be more than enough to anchor all of his faith in Jesus. But he's still unfinished. And just before this story that we're going to look at today, Jesus sends out the disciples with his power.

He gives them his power, and they go and proclaim the good news that the kingdom has come. They are healing people and they are casting out demons. This has got to be a pretty fantastic couple weeks. But in the middle of all of this, some of them get word that John the Baptist, Jesus cousin, has been murdered. And they go and they get his body and they bury it and they come back to find Jesus and let him know this terrible news.

But Jesus popularity has been growing so much over these past few weeks and months. And so everywhere he goes, he's surrounded by people. And so they get to him. And as the disciples are there to share this tragic news with him, he's surrounded by crowds longing for his teaching, longing for his healing. This is what Mark says in Mark 6:31.

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, Jesus said to them, come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest. So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. This sounds like a great plan. Going to be nice and quiet on the other side of the lake. But by the time they get to the other side of the lake, you might know this story.

5,000 people are already there, waiting, clamoring for more of Jesus. I just imagine this moment of this wind getting sucked out of them again. And Jesus feeds the 5,000. And John tells us that things are so amazing, that the people are so excited about what Jesus has done, that they want to take him by flight force and make him the king of Israel. And Jesus recognizing this, and some commentators believe, recognizing that the disciples would be very tempted by this possible future, he sends the disciples away.

We'll pick up in Matthew 14:22 immediately. Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there all alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Now, this is a scene that we talked about in our Mark series.

We zoomed way in to talk about lots of details. If you weren't here for that, go back and listen to that message. There's so many wonderful details there. But what I want to zoom in on today is actually the part of the story that marks left out for some reason. But Matthew gives us.

It's an incredible moment between Jesus and Peter. Verse 25. Shortly before dawn, Jesus went out to them walking on the lake. I want to pause here. I love how nonchalant this sentence is.

Matthew's like, so early in the morning, Jesus just went for a stroll on the lake, as one does.

We'll keep reading verse 26. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. It's a ghost, they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them, take courage. It is I or I am literally, don't be afraid.

And then Peter. So Peter, Lord, if it's you, Peter replied, tell me to come to you. On the water, Peter sees Jesus doing something awesome. He's like, that's awesome. I'm awesome.

I would like to do this.

And Jesus response is incredible. Verse 29. Come, come, he said. Can you imagine? Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water, and came toward Jesus.

Peter is not figuratively walking on the water. Peter is breaking all of the rules of physics and science, and he is literally walking on the water. He takes a step and then another. And for a few incredible moments, Peter is experiencing something absolutely impossible. And then we read the next verse, verse 30.

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and beginning to sink, cried out, lord, save me. Peter is so caught up in the excitement of seeing Jesus do this awesome thing and then asking if he can do this awesome thing. And Jesus is like, come. And then suddenly it occurs to him that he's doing something that's not possible to do.

This moment with Peter reminds me we used to have a dog. His name was Duke. He was a giant chocolate lab, 130 pounds. He wasn't a chubby dog. He was just a huge dog, okay?

And he loved to chase deer in the backyard. Just absolutely loved it. A deer would come, boom. He would bolt off and chase these deer. Of course, the deer were way faster than him, so we always lost.

And he'd run to the edge of where our underground fence was, and he would take the walk of shame back up to the house and lay down. Until one day, when all of Duke's wildest dreams came true, a young buck is walking through the yard and doesn't see Duke laying there. And Duke is chill. He is just so chill. He's calm, and he waits for the perfect opportunity.

And instead of running where the deer is, he runs to where the deer is going. And it's awesome. And I know what he's thinking, because I can read his mind. And he's thinking, this is the greatest day of my life. This thing I've been longing for for so long.

It's happening. And just before his nose touches this deer, he thinks, because again, I can read his mind. He's thinking, oh, no, what am I going to do with this thing if I catch it? Maybe this was a bad idea. This is bigger than I thought it was.

Aboard, aboard, aboard. Right. And he throws on the brakes. And I promise you, he never chased a deer ever again after that.

And this is the moment That I feel like Peter's having right now where he's like, this is awesome. And then he sees the wind and the rain and he's like, this was a dumb idea. Who thought of this? Aboard, aboard, aboard. Born Peter shifts his attention from Jesus to the water and the waves and he becomes keenly aware of his inability and he starts to sink.

Verse 32. I just love how kind Jesus is. Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.

You of little faith, he said, why did you doubt? And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, truly you are the Son of God. Now I read those words, Jesus says, you of little faith. And I'm like, little faith.

Peter did not hesitate. He is the only non deity in all of human history to step onto the water and take one step. If that is little faith, I am hosed.

If that's little faith, what does great faith look like?

Well, Matthew, chapter eight. We read about a moment when the Bible says that Jesus is amazed at someone's faith. Matthew 8:5. When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him asking for help. Lord, he said, my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.

Jesus said to him, shall I come and heal him? The centurion replied, lord, I don't deserve you to come under my roof, but just say the word and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, go, and he goes, and that one come, and he comes. I say to my servant, do this, and he does it.

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, truly, I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. What is Jesus amazed by?

He's not amazed that the centurion can do something impressive, but that his faith in who Jesus is and his understanding of Jesus power and authority allows him to fully believe that a word from Jesus will be enough. That's what he's amazed by. When Jesus asked Peter, why did you doubt? He wasn't asking him, why did you doubt that you could walk on the water? I think he was asking him, peter, why did you doubt my word?

Why did you believe the wind and waves had more authority than the one who told you to come?

Peter's mistake isn't realizing that he's weak. Peter's mistake is forgetting who Jesus is.

Most of my life I've thought of faith as something that I do. I mean, I've read books and heard sermons that say, well, faith is like a muscle, and you got to work it out so that it's really strong so that at the right time, you can do the thing. If I have enough faith, I can be healed. If I have enough faith, muscles. If my muscles are big enough, I can move mountains.

If I have enough faith, I can make it through this. If I have enough faith, I'll finally be strong enough to not be afraid, because I don't have to be, because I'm strong enough. But I don't think that's how faith works at all. In fact, I'm now more convinced than ever of Paul's or of the instruction that God gives to Paul. In Second Corinthians 12, he says, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect or complete or whole.

In. In weakness.

Strong faith begins with two honest conclusions. I am not enough and God is exactly who he says he is.

Two conclusions. I am not enough and God is exactly who he says he is. If you've been around for long, you've heard me ask that question. What if God is actually who he says he is? What if God is actually who he says he is?

It's a powerful question because the world often tells us that faith is irrational and naive and illogical. But if God is actually who he says he is, if the vapor of his breath is what formed all of creation, if he spoke everything into being, if he is the mighty healer, he, if he is the redeemer, if he is the Lord over all things, if everything is under his feet and he has power over all things, then trusting in God isn't irrational at all. It is the most logical thing that you could ever imagine. If he is who he says he is, it's the most logical conclusion we can come up with. I think the main thing that's keeping us from the kind of faith that the centurion has is what is that?

We're asking different questions inside of us. We're asking, what if he isn't who he says he is? What if he doesn't show up? What if he doesn't provide? What if he isn't really in control?

What if I'm on my own when Peter falls at Jesus feet, overwhelmed at his own sinfulness and convicted that Jesus should keep his distance? Jesus says, be afraid. When the disciples are in the boat and there's a storm raging and they should be afraid, Jesus says again, don't be afraid. Why? Because fear begins to lose its grip when we realize who's standing in front of us.

But when our default question becomes, what if God is exactly who he says he is? The story is no longer about whether we're strong enough. It's about whether we believe that he is. Fear is actually faith in the wrong direction. Fear is faith in the wrong.

What if the story isn't ultimately about Peter's ability to walk on water? It's not about Peter at all. It's about the authority of Jesus to call him to take an impossible step in the faithfulness of Jesus, knowing that Peter can't do this and that he's going to fall. It's the faithfulness of Jesus to reach down and pick him up. It's all about Jesus.

Faith isn't confidence in our strength, our willpower, our courage, or our ability to hold ourselves above the water. Faith is becoming more conscious of Jesus than we are of ourselves, more convinced of his strength than consumed by our weakness.

A bold step of faith rests on one thing. If Jesus says come, then I can go wherever he calls. Not because I'm able, but because he is. If he says, pick it up, I can carry it. Not because I'm not I'm strong enough to carry it, but because he is strong, strong enough.

If he says, go through that, I can endure whatever that is. Not because I'm tough or awesome in my power, but because I know that he can overcome all things and has overcome all things. If something is taken from me, then I can survive the loss. Not because I'm tough, but because the one who holds all things together in this very moment is holding me to together too. It's all about him.

Everything, all the time, without exception. In every season, every struggle, in every step, in every stumble, it's all about Him. And when our eyes are truly fixed on him, fear melts.

Something that strikes me about Peter's story, we don't read in Scripture how for the rest of Peter's life, he got up early every morning, walked down to the edge of the sea and said, come on, you can do this. You can do this. Splash.

Because walking on water was never the point.

Jesus wasn't training Peter to become better at impossible things. He was teaching Peter to trust the one who makes impossible things possible. The goal was never for Pete to become more impressive. The goal was for Peter to become more dependent.

To hear Jesus say, come and then take a step. To hear Jesus say, go and then take a step. To hear Jesus say, follow me, and then take a step and then keep following. Even though fear, even though he doesn't understand, even though obedience Might cost him everything. And over time, that's what begins to happen to Peter.

Peter doesn't become a man who never feels weak. He becomes a man who knows where his strength comes from. He becomes a man who keeps trusting Jesus in that step and the next step and the next step and the next step. The miracle isn't that Peter learns to walk on water. The miracle is that an impulsive, fearful, egocentric, unfinished fisherman becomes the kind of man who would follow Jesus wherever he says to God.

Peter never becomes finished.

He keeps falling. And then he keeps getting back up and taking another step. And when he stumbles, Jesus just keeps reaching down, helping him up and cheering him on again. And maybe that's the invitation for you today to start believing that through salvation, we have not been given a spirit of fear. We have been given a spirit of adoption by which we can confidently call him dad.

Stop assuming your father is standing at a distance with his arms crossed, constantly disappointed that you aren't running.

Our job is to look at Jesus, listen for his voice, and take the next step.

Maybe it's a small step. Maybe it's shaky. Maybe you'll need him to catch you before the day is over, a dozen times. It doesn't mean you failed.

It means you're still learning to walk because you're unfinished.

And when you stumble, his hand will be there to pick you up again. So I'll ask, what if he is exactly who he says he is?

If that's true and that's why we're even here at all. Because we either really want to believe that's true or we really do believe that's true. But we don't live regularly like that's true.

And it is a lie from the pit of hell Church. It's a lie from hell that the whole point is that you get strong enough and big enough and good enough that you don't need him anymore. It's a lie. The whole story of Scripture is you were never enough. But he also always was.

This is the call to come. And our confidence is not in our ability to come. It's in his ability to cover the distance from wherever he is to where we are. The miracle is not that we become able to come. It is that he was always more powerful than whatever is between us.

Us. That's the miracle.

I'm going to ask you to stand. Our prayer team will be on either side of the room.

I've been in ministry long enough. I've been around people long enough. I know that this room is not just dotted with a few stories like this. I know this room is full of people who look in the mirror every day and just think, Jesus, if you knew. If you knew.

And we keep coming back and we keep singing the songs and we keep doing the things. Trying to polish things up and get the soot off of us. And the whole time, the whole time he says, I know, I know. You're just learning to walk still.

So come out from under this weight. Come. Jesus says, come. We're going to sing these words of this great old song. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

It's sweet because we lay all of ourselves down. And he does the work. He does the work.

He keeps showing up again and again and again and again. And we keep falling again and again and again. And he keeps showing up again and again and again. You are not alone. This is my story, too.

Maybe it's time to step out from under this weight and trust that he actually is who he says he is.